It was a bright sunny day on the planet of Earth, and a pimp was outside in his jumbo tub and spa with a WHOO!  He lay in his Styrofoam recliner floating in his pool.  He opened his eyes, only to see a big spherical spaceship landing in a clearing not too far away.  The pimp jumped at the sight of it.  He got out of the pool and jumped in his silver Porsche and drove to where it landed.  On the way over, he turned on Z100 to hear the lyrics of Big Pimpin.  When he got out, he jumped over the door and looked into a crater and whispered to himself as the spaceship opened, “please let this be my new shipment of Cubans...” A being that looked somewhat human jumped out of the ship and landed by the pimp.
“So, Krakanut has failed!!  He didn’t keep the disco phase going!”  The alien turned around and looked at the pimp.  He glided on the grass over to him.  He fingered a few buttons on his scouter. 
“Noo.... Krakanut let the Pimp & Playa phase take effect on this pathetic planet.”
The alien looked at the pimp and said with authority, “dance.”
The pimp took the cigar out of his mouth and began talking, “Whashu talkin bout?”  The alien turned around and held out his hand towards a cow.  A strange light came from his hand and the cow suddenly..... turned into Richard Simmons!!!!
“Now, pimp, I don’t think you want that happening to you.”  The pimp began to dance with his WHAT?! (DMX talk) The alien looked very upset. 
“Don’t you know how to bust a move?”  The alien began doing the hustle, and when he finished, the Pimp turned into Richard Simmons.  The GRRR! ran away at the site of Richard Simmons.  Suddenly the alien’s scouter beeped. 
“A power level of great...... er...... power.  West.....”  He took to the air.  ‘Krakanut,’ he thought to himself, ‘you are mine!’
The alien landed on a plateau where a green being hovered cross-legged, powering up.  He suddenly stood and turned around to see the great power that interrupted his meditation. 
“Yo, brudda, I’m tryin to listen to this song, it’s off the hook!”
The alien slapped himself in the head.  ‘Not again,’ he thought to himself.
“Forget it,” he said, and he flew in the air, and detected another power, a great one, moving fast.  ‘KRAKANUT!!!!’
~~~
Booyah opened the door to the Yoshi House. 
“Yo, anyone home?”  Kanoli and Mister Yoshi were inside. 
“Long time no see!” Booyah said as she saluted. 
“Ohh!” Mister Yoshi said. 
Kanoli put on a gigantic smile, “Booyah!!”  Mister Yoshi dropped his beer mug and walked over to Booyah. 
“Hey, you up for a ride.  C’mon, jump on my back and we’ll go out hunting for gold coins.”  The next thing Kanoli saw was a broken chair over Mister Yoshi’s head. 
Dazed, Yoshi managed to spit out, “Still no sense of humor, I see....”
“Just as ordinary as ever, I see....” Booyah said as she put some food down on the table that already had some canoli’s on it. 
“Booyah, where’s Lumpcha?” 
“THAT JERK?!  YOU THINK I CARE?!  AFTER WHAT HE DID TO ME?!  WELL, THINK AGAIN?!  Anyway... where’s 2MenEiz?” (Pronounced “Too Many Eyes”) Yoshi got himself some ice for his head and came back in and sat down.
“He changed his name to Third Eye Blind and quit rapping.”
“Oh,” said Booyah as she took a beer, broke off the neck of the bottle and chugged it down.
“Look, Hoehan, that’s Mister Yoshi’s house, he’s the biggest hentai ever since I quit smoking weed back in high school.”  Gopu and his son Hoehan were flying on their magical cloud that moved slower than a slug freshly salted, Flying Nimbusile.
“Here we are!  Hey everyone, were here!”
~~~
The alien was still fingering some buttons on his scouter.  “Ahh!!  He’s stopped!!”
~~~
Kanoli and Booyah came running out the door.
“You’re back!”  Kanoli said. 
Booyah looked puzzled and said, “Who’s that little kid?”  Gopu let down and took a deep breath like he was gonna say something very long. 
“Well, you see, I came home from training and Chi-Chi was in a OOH! and she said ‘Gopu, let’s “spar”’ and I said ‘Ok’ and she ripped off my clothes but then I said I would need them for sparring...... to make a long story short...... he’s my son!”  Kanoli and Mister Yoshi looked like they had a fork and knife in hand and drool was coming down the side of their mouths.  Booyah’s tongue was on the floor and her jaw was wide open and was staring at Gopu as if he said he was gonna hack their heads off.
“Say, Gopu- -“
”No, I just did,” Gopu answered.
“No, your name, well..... does he ever change during a full moon?”
“Oh, yeah, on Full Moons, him, Chi-Chi and I go to the abandoned warehouse in the east capitol and pimp some GRR!s, so he kinda changes outfits, if that’s what you mean.”
“Not exactly.....”
“Then what?”
“Never mind.”
Gopu began walking towards the Yoshi House, and stopped abruptly, turned around and stared at one spot in the sky.
“What’s wrong, Gopu?”  Kanoli said. “I don’t sense anything.”  Gopu had a look on his face that looked like he was constipated.  Suddenly Gopu burst out laughing.
“Ha ha ha!!” Gopu said grabbing his stomach in laughter.  “I always wanted to get everyone worried like that! Aha ha ha!”
“I find nothing funny, Krakanut.”  Everyone turned around and saw a big guy with long hair with metal underwear.
“My, my, Krakanut..... you look just like your father.”
“Yo, if we got high people like this hangin’ around here, you gotta have some weed around here someplace!” Kanoli shouted.
“Hey, Kanoli, watch your probation,” Mister Yoshi said, lighting a joint of weed.
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
“Krakanut, do you still remember your mission?!” The alien asked.
“What mission?  Who are you?”  Gopu inquired.
“Why I am Redditz, your big brother!!!  Your mission is to teach this entire planet the ways of the 60s and 70s dance!!!!”  Everyone gasped.
“That’s evil!!”  Gopu shouted.
“I like to dance.”  Hoehan stepped out behind Booyah.
“Oh, is that so...... YOU HAVE A TAIL!!!  Krakanut, you never told me I was an uncle!!”
“Hoehan, no!” Gopu shouted.  It was too late.  Redditz had grabbed Hoehan.
“If you want your kid back, join us.  But you have to prove yourself.  100 humans.  By tomorrow.  And don’t think we won’t count.”  He fired a light ki blast at Gopu, stunning him.  Gopu coughed and managed to choke something out.
“How..... 100 humans...... they’ll never learn the Hustle that fast!”
“Your problem, not mine, brother.”  Redditz flew off Yoshi Island with Hoehan.  What evil dances could Redditz teach Hoehan?!?!